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[cobbledtogetherenvy]

[No recording. Envy doesn't want to talk to any stupid humans.]

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[thereisnothing]

After the normal (even if slightly less normal in terms of who was behind the curse) amount of trouble and various rounds of discussion on the network that Sanzo has no interest in participating in, Sanzo hunts down his inmate.

During the curse, he'd managed to stagger over to check what he was doing, but it had looked harmless enough and so he'd left him to talk to no one, duty, such as it is, done. That same duty is what propels him today, following his warden item at a casual pace.

[cobbledtogetherenvy]

He eventually locates Envy in a corner of the library, where he's sitting improbably on the edge of a shelf. Not even on top, just precariously balanced on the few inches of flimsy wood where he found whatever book he's paging through. He's a lousy researcher, honestly. He never had to really learn the trick. But he's figuring it out a bit at a time.

As is often the case, he has no response whatsoever to his warden's presence.

[thereisnothing]

If Sanzo saw a reason to come up with some of his inmate's 'positive qualities', the lack of response to his presence would be on the list. As he doesn't see any possible reason why he'd do that, he just tilts his head to try to look at what book Envy's going through. He suspects he's not the best researcher, but trial and error is fine teacher if you don't want to ask for help.

Sanzo has never wanted to ask for help, at any point in his life.

He surveys the shelves around them with a more calculated approach. Well, his approach is generally just trying to read through everything he can find, but he's not bad at finding what books might have information which he wants.

[cobbledtogetherenvy]

Envy's goal continues to be simply to chase down his best next lead. He's following up on John's ideas right now, but terminology has proven difficult. Most realities, dreams are a matter for psychology, or maybe prophecy, not an eldritch realm a person can walk into under the right circumstances. His abandoned books cover that and also mushrooms, for some reason.

[thereisnothing]

Sanzo has a book of essays on syncretism as applied to Buddhism and Taoism, which has yet to produce anything he doesn't know but the hunt for how to wield sutra that can shape reality. He looks up once he's hit a section on personal cultivation, as he needs needs a moment before having to read that shit. "Do you dream?"

[cobbledtogetherenvy]

"I don't sleep," Envy says and shrugs one shoulder. Since he drained the stone he sort of... rests. That's new. But he doesn't think it's sleep like humans experience it. He's not really unconscious. He doesn't hallucinate. He doesn't even particularly crave it most of the time. He just sort of idles out.

[thereisnothing]

"Will you be able to do something based on dreams," or whatever it is he's looking for in those books, without the connection?"

[cobbledtogetherenvy]

"Apparently, yes, but I don't know how literal any of it is." He doesn't like the sensation of swimming about lost is all. He's used to knowing more than anybody around him, save Father. Humility doesn't come easily to Envy. Having to learn things the normal way stinks.

[thereisnothing]

"That's one of the shitty things about working with dreams." Not that humility comes easily to Sanzo. "Still, I suppose it's interesting that you have access."

[cobbledtogetherenvy]

"It's still all theoretical, and relying on someone else." And it's so frustrating. But he won't be something that can get out of here with only the tools he knows. That's what made him what he is, and he needs to be something else.

[thereisnothing]

Sanzo pinches the bridge of his nose, looking pained. "Relying on someone else, at least a little, seems to be one of those things the Admiral looks for with graduations." It's why he wouldn't be getting out of here.

[cobbledtogetherenvy]

"Well, how am I supposed to influence what other people opt to do?" The whole system is absurd, but this feels like a pronounced unfairness.

[thereisnothing]

"Tch. Here's it's easy enough that even you could probably do it. People are so desperate to help it makes my skin crawl." He shakes his head. "You can just ask someone to help and instead of saying something like 'we help our own' or 'why would I do something for a destructive little demon' they actually try to think of something."

[cobbledtogetherenvy]

Envy's nose wrinkles in distaste, but he can't argue. He distrusts their motives and despises the inconsistencies that constantly crop up. But they sure do think they want to help... "They do what they think will help." But it's a listless protest.

[thereisnothing]

"Yeah." That people are still frequently wrong about what will actually help is at least one tether to reality. "Would you have ever sincerely asked for help, before you landed here?"

[cobbledtogetherenvy]

No is both his first impulse and something that feels true, but he is actually trying to do something. He rubs exhaustedly at his temples. "From family. Not all of them, and not all the time." Those odd, vivid dreams of the Greed he'd known once, cruel and superior, but a friendly presence by Envy's standards. "I tricked people into doing what I wanted. That's as close as it got."

[thereisnothing]

He nods. "Were you able to ask your family because you were working towards the same goal, or was it just that there were some of them who were likely to do something. If you asked, in certain circumstances?"

[cobbledtogetherenvy]

"Some of them were less likely to turn on or eat me," he says with a faint sigh. "But all of us only had the one goal, most of the time, whatever Father set us to do."

[thereisnothing]

"Did you ever envy the humans who could just ask each other for help with shit?"

[cobbledtogetherenvy]

"...They don't generally do that." Envy isn't just being stubborn. He's not really seen the better aspects of humanity in action much. "I did help a human once, but the only other option was sit around until we all succumbed to entropy."

[thereisnothing]

"It's not necessarily common," Sanzo agrees. He wouldn't say that he's seen the better aspects of humanity in action often enough to put any trust in it. "Most people are just driven by what they want, and wanting to survive. Though some like to cover that with other reasons."

He taps his lighter.

"Asking someone directly for help can be an acknowledgement that they have worth."

[cobbledtogetherenvy]

"That they have something you need. That's a pretty mercenary idea of worth." But Envy doesn't sound sour about it. If he had to get a warden, he's glad it's one who doesn't try to dress up these concepts in pretty little lies.

[thereisnothing]

It's a mercenary sort of world, and doesn't see a reason to lie about that. "When I kill an animal to eat, it keeps me alive. I don't consult it. If I ask someone to use their library, it's because they can be useful beyond just having stuff I need."

[cobbledtogetherenvy]

"Why does that follow?" It's possible, sure, but a library is a pretty distinct resource and could easily be the only relevant one on offer.

[thereisnothing]

"Because I could break in and take the books if I wanted. I don't have to ask them for anything. It's taking a chance that they might have something more." He shrugs. "They often don't. But it's different than taking stuff simply by force or trickery."