cobbledtogetherenvy

"There's a pretty big difference between you and Doe, in that respect." He nods. "A break, yeah. But you should have some idea of what to make, after that."

Envy's jaw tightens a little. He has an idea of what might work, but he can't bring himself to do it. That week he spent human--he doesn't dream, so he can't claim to have nightmares. It haunts him in its own way. "Most of us aren't just the stone. Sloth was like a chimera, as many animal parts as anything else, and Gluttony started as the False Gate of Truth. Lust, Greed, and Wrath all have human in them." Envy elides past that as fast as he can. No. Leaving aside the question of raw materials? Just no.

"That not what I mean. You can break yourself into component parts, but what will you build out of them? Obviously, it's not like becoming a human or some sort of demon will help. Look at most of the Barge. So you'll still be some sort of Homunculus. But that's just a 'what'."

"Well, it's what I mean," Envy says testily. "I'm basing this on whatever I can, and there's not really precedent, but I've spent lots of time in the labs. Making chimeras, armor, even minor homunculi, it's all just alchemically combining what already is. Add a snake to a human, get a poisonous human, or one with a rib cage that compresses. If I'm going to add to myself and not just take away, I need some kind of starting point."

That sounds so stupid. It's probably what's going on in Houtou Castle. "That's stupid. I assume the alchemists want a poisonous human or one who can compress through holes. If you don't have an end goal, it's just dropping things pointlessly in a pot."

Envy is willing to work with this guy if they can both move him along, but the second his new warden feels like a hindrance, he's walking. And he's starting to think about it. "Being poisonous could be pretty useful. But I'm trying to add things, too. A conscience, or something that'll let me change enough to grow one. And if I'm chopping out more of the parts that are Envy, something's gotta hold what's left together."

Sanzo wouldn't want to assume Envy isn't already poisonous. He wouldn't want to test it out. "A conscience, right. It seems like you've spent a lifetime, or what could be called that, trying to chop out the bits that are envy. Just ignoring them, if not." He shakes his head.

"Yeah, I don't think you're graduation without there being limits on how likely you are to kill. But you know what I've seen in people who've graduated a lot more frequently than I've seen a conscience? A bit of fucking self-awareness. What animal would get you that one?"

Ugh, what happened to being reasonable?

(Is it possible that Envy defines being reasonable as agreeing with him?)

"Animals are for making military chimeras. It was an example. One of my brothers is made out of a door. I need something that'll work. That's all I care about."

"It's a shitty example for what you've said you want. You want to get out. Believe me, I want that to. But you don't have the answer to 'how'."

"Because I'm figuring it out as I go! It's not my fault the admiral won't let me disappear. He chose something unsuitable for his whole program here, and it's up to me to find an escape that'll work. I'm reinventing things that are hundreds of years old." Which is not all that impressive as immortality goes, but shh.

"The Admiral is the Admiral. I wouldn't make his choices. You might be unsuitable, but you're also avoiding dealing with what the Admiral might want by going around to an outside transformation."

He doesn't think that's a bad thing. It demonstrates a reasonable enough mind, which is something.

"And I don't know how yet, so I don't know what you want me to do besides research and try things." Envy wants out, but he's tried brute force and it got him nowhere.

"I want yo to research and try things. Trying to get someone to take you apart by annoying them into it to see if that does anything is a stupid thing to do before you've actually talked to him."

"I don't see a downside." If it works, good. If it doesn't, they know the admiral will drag him back. Who cares?

"The downside is cutting yourself off from potential useful information. Just because on attempt doesn't work doesn't mean that Strange doesn't have a spell that could."

"When he's stuck someplace he can't die?" Envy, for all his espionage experience, is something of a blunt instrument. The greatest danger is damaging a target too much for them to be useful, and that can't happen in their current circumstances.

"Beating information out of someone is fun, not useful. Not useful for magic - or alchemy - theory." He takes a drag on his cigarette. "When you're dealing with someone motivated by their own 'cleverness', it can be more useful to just let them run off and come up with twenty stupid ideas that might be a place to start. You're trying to invent something new, not pull out old answers."

Well, where else does information come from? Stealing? Stealing has potential, but only if people write things down. "Yeah, getting people to do what I want them to has historically worked if I was wearing their husband's face, or their priest's." He leaned pretty heavily on powers. "Tricking people the hard way works, but it's a lot slower."

"There are people who insist on trying to tell you things, just because you're a priest." All jobs come with their burdens. "Anyway, this is a situation where you need to try to trick someone."

Envy sighs, but he sees the reason in it. "I'll try getting on his good side first." A great concession that leaves open the possibility of plan B when that doesn't work.

Sanzo nods. He would say it's a pretty big concession, and as long as Envy tries that first, Sanzo won't say it's unreasonable for Envy to turn to another plan. He stubs out his cigarette. "Is there anything you 'need'?"

"Just to keep working on this. Once I have something concrete I'll say so." He has no reason to keep secrets under the circumstances.

"Good." That Envy will tell him and, only slightly less importantly, that that there isn't some other issue. He stands up. "Talking a lot is annoying." The communicator offers a real gift: hanging up on people.

"Oh, I asked around. It sounds like Daniel likes you and wants you around." Sanzo's happy not to have met that paragon of terrible taste. Now you just have to figure out the birds." He holds up his hand in what could be a wave goodbye as he heads towards the door.

A breath that would have turned into a flat what if he'd voiced it is choked off before the word escapes. Envy stares after him and decides not to ask. He's spent enough time being cryptic himself to know what someone who wanted to communicate would simply do so. All he can do is not give the warden any more satisfaction.

Frankly, he wasn't wondering before, and he is now.

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